fingers crossed.

whoa. summer classes almost over. i hope i didn't fail any of the subjects i took up. a big test coming up this monday plus there's a class card to be released. i hope i did well. waa. can't stop thinking' about it. ughh. plus, there's this effin' qualifying exam for incoming third year students. a day after that is the grueling enrollment process. whew. what a busy week to come. but for now, i'l try to relax and be calm. woo. kind of hard to do when these things has been bugging me for days. i'll get through this, with my fingers crossed. =/

pauii's messy closet. and a lot more.

what a mess. mountain-pile of shirts, worn out jeans turned inside out, tops scattered everywhere, dresses slipping off a hanger. what a view. ohh well, this is something i see everyday. my messy closet. i find it hard to make things in order. just like how it is with my life. intertwined happenings, a jungle of events or a basket full of ideas. not to mention the tangled problems. you say it, i have it. i easily get confuse on unexpected happenings, a sudden blow of problems or by just a mere shot of excitement. but don't get me wrong, i can handle all of it. it's just that i find it hard to balance things. i'm like my closet. i don't know where things are supposed to be or how they should be organized. what a loser, you may say. i beg to disagree. it's just that, you know how teens are. they are, like me, most of the time baffled. but whenever i'm in a sticky situation, i always get out of it alive. i always charm my way out of a problem or get through every obstacles the world may give me. i'm a soldier you know. and this world is my battlefield. gettin' out of a problem is like gettin' a shirt out in the farthest corner of my closet just when the top pile is about to collapse. alas, done in a swift motion. so now i realize, i shouldn't worry much. a mess at it may seem, i'll get through it. i always does. it's like stepping inside a very messy closet with all the clothes waiting to fall on you and coming out of it alive. and the best part? it always feel like i just bagged the best dressed award. Ü

given a chance but not a choice.

i've already written this blog entry more than a year ago. but since i made this new blog, i wanna keep my first ever entry. so, here it is. .

originally dated dec. 26, '06

my first entry.. im not really sure what to write about but the first thing that came to my mind was this.. it was more than a year after i prayed so hard for this certain thing. completing the simbang gabi means one thing: making a wish.. and so i did.. i wished to pass the admission exam i took up four months before December.. every normal student's wish right? passing the UPCAT.. imagine my surprise when i passed.. gone insane, maybe.. or should i say dreaming of a new environment, a new home, new friends.. of lots of things.. but not all things are given to you.. you can't be happy all the time.. in short, i wasn't allowed to go there.. so damn pissed! in despair.. i was given a chance but not a choice!! the decision wasn't mine.. do parents really know the best for their kids?? not all the time, i don't think so.. i'll never get over this one.. when all you're dreamin' of was right in front of you but all i've done was to turn my back from it.. pretty darn thing to do huh?? i have no choice.. and i let the chance pass me by.. but life goes on.. why can't i forget about the whole damn thing?? wishing still..